Feeling Anxious

    That's how I'm feeling right this second.  It will probably pass by tomorrow, the next day, or the end of the week.  Not sure yet.  I'm sort of surrounded by babies.  I have two sisters-in-law who are due to give birth pretty much any second, one who just announced a pregnancy and to top it off they found out today they are having twins! (yay), and I'll be attending a baby blessing on Sunday for a brand new nephew.  Anybody wanna take a guess as to why I'm so anxious?  :)  I'm so happy for these wonderful women in my life, but I'm feeling just a little selfish at the moment.  I crave the feeling of joy and excitement and nerve wracking terror that these ladies are experiencing.  Hopefully, that day will come soon enough for me, but I'm just wanting it so much.  Patience was never something I was very good at.  I'll try though. 

    My problem is that I let my envy control me far too much.  Can I just tell you?  I love my life right now.  I always think to myself, "I won the husband lottery."  How on earth did I find this man?  While seeking for my eternal companion, I was pretty jaded along the way.  Who knew that this particular man was being saved just for me?  Was that a tear?  NO!  WHAT?!  Okay, I might tearing up quite a bit.  What can I say?  My husband is truly incredible and I can't believe how blessed I am that we are still, after 4 years of being together and 3 years of that being married, ridiculously, cheesy in love.  That never once has he looked at me and thought I was unattractive, even through all my weight gain.  Is that even possible?!  To this day, I proudly admit that we have never had a fight.  That's not to say we haven't had our share of disagreements or moments of strong frustration, but we've never reached a point where we've raised our voices and things are always resolved quickly.  He constantly thanks me for EVERYTHING I do and I sooo appreciate it. 

    As for the things that don't matter quite as much, we live in a good neighborhood, in a nice home, have a great church family that I'm still enjoying getting to know.  We paid off a credit card and only have one left with debt that will hopefully be paid off within the next year.  There's nothing wrong with our car.  We have some amazing family and friends who are always there to support us.  I lost 35 POUNDS!!!! and now am at my high school weight.  I'm only 5 lbs. away from my goal weight.

    Yeah, I'm blessed.  I'm feeling a little less anxious now.  Thanks for reading my rant.  :)