Epiphany

    Lately, my body has been having issues to say the least.  In our family, we turn to muscle testing (also know as Applied Kinesiology).  Ty's dad has become our family go to person for this.  Some of the things we have learned about it have been really interesting.  For instance, a few days ago when I had my negative pregnancy test I started feeling bad, for a lack of a better word at the moment, and it progressively got worse throughout the day without any cause.  This feeling lasted for days!  On Sunday we asked my father-in-law to do some testing for me for energy and the cravings I've been having with my diet.  One of the results was that I had a trapped darkness in accordance with my energy.  There was the word I was looking for to put to the feeling that I was having.  A Darkness.

    Anyway, the point of this is that I have become pretty good at being in tune with my body and emotions.  I have a tendency to take the time to figure out why I do things or act a certain way.  Recently, I sort of had this epiphany about myself.  I haven't forgiven my body for having a miscarriage and still not being able to get pregnant.  It's almost as though my mind and my body are in a silent treatment argument with each other.  It sounds a little off, but let me divulge a little bit.

    Let's say I saw a really amazing purse that I really, really wanted.  Many friends and relatives have the same style of purse and seeing them with theirs is hard since I know how much I would like to have it.  However, as much as I want it I can't afford to buy it.  Or something just keeps coming up and I'm not able to get it.  Finally, my husband gets it for me as a gift.  Before I can really enjoy it though, a friend takes it and basically ruins it and it's destroyed.  I could tell you right now that that friend wouldn't be a friend for a whole lot longer.  How could they just take something when they knew how much it meant to me to have it?

    Do you see the similitude here?  The friend is my body (because for better or worse you should be a friend to yourself) and the purse is a baby.  If a friend had taken something from me like that, it would really hard for me to forgive them completely and trust them once again.  I feel like that's my situation with my mind and my body.  When I had my miscarriage, I had my time to be angry with my Heavenly Father, but I never thought about forgiving myself and letting my body off the hook for it.  There's a strong possibility that I will have more muscle testing done to relieve the trapped emotions from this newly realized issue.  As well as a lot of prayer and spiritual guidance.  It's amazing what we learn about ourselves if we just take the time to listen.