Enjoying The Process

    When trying to have a baby, we put so much pressure on ourselves to "tell secrets" to our partners on the right days that it becomes more work than the enjoyable experience that is supposed to connect you together.  I get so much in my own head, "This is what we HAVE TO DO to make a baby."  Or, "It has to be tonight because otherwise I won't get pregnant."  The books, the websites, the statistics.  They must all know what they are talking about, because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.  We all do it, and then that doesn't just put pressure on ourselves, but our partners as well.

    Again, I'm going to show you a video clip.  What can I say?  I'm a product of the TV generation.  This is from Keeping up with the Kardashians, when Kourtney and Scott are trying to have another baby.  Skip to 00:50 to begin with for the right part and it goes to 02:12.  (Also, I'm not sure why, but the video is backwards.  It won't really matter other than the words.)



    Lately, I've realized that we have more fun and are more relaxed because we (okay, mostly just me) changed our mindset and attitude about what we're doing.  Instead of putting so much pressure on "if we don't get intimate now we're doing it all wrong and everything will be messed up", it's more of getting to enjoy each other on those days.  We have "off nights" and "on nights".  The waiting in between actually makes the other days more exciting and special.  I guess it's about remembering that you are attracted to the other person and that's why you feel compelled to be physical.

    Here's another clip from the show.  Kourtney just told Scott that he basically needs to do what she needs him to do in this department (and pretty rudely) and that it's not about having fun.  Scott goes outside upset and Kim tells Kourtney how much she is over-thinking things and then Kourtney goes to Scott.  Go to 01:34 for the right part.



    So, I'm not saying take the wanting-to-get-pregnant factor out of it because I KNOW how unrealistic that is.  However, put the romance back in it, remember that you love each other, that that's part of why you are trying to have a baby, and don't put so much pressure on yourselves.  And with that may we all love our lovers and become mommies soon!